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I will never forget the day I entered the local kink community.

I found out that there was a weekly kink meetup, a Munch, happening a few blocks from the design agency I worked at. This was my chance. For over a decade, I had been yearning to explore kink. There was this desire, this fire inside, that kept growing day-by-day.

 

A munch is a gathering where kinky folks hang out in regular settings (bars, restaurants, coffee houses, parks, etc), generally with food (hence the word Munch), and socialize. I love munches because it brings the kink community closer together. There’s nothing like making friends and creating great relationships with a community that strives to get to the same place: unapologetic acceptance and freedom of who they are.

 

I had also just got out of a really unhealthy long-term relationship. Can we say fresh start, anyone? I remembered telling myself that if I didn’t go, I’d regret it immensely. I remember what I was feeling as I grabbed the door handle to the local bar—heart pounding, mind racing, sweating, anxious, worried, nervous.

 

“What if I wasn’t good enough to join? What if I’m not kinky enough? What if I’m TOO kinky for their liking? What if everything I dreamed and fantasized about kink isn’t what reality is at all?”

I almost turned around. But, on September 25th, 2013, I swallowed my inner gremlin and walked in. Looking back now, little did I know that decision I made to go coupled with the action to enter the bar set my life on a course that would transform my life for the better in every way.

 

I felt like I had found my chosen family. I always felt like the odd one out my entire life. Ever since that day I walked into the munch, I’m finally living the life that I was meant to. The love, acceptance, and freedom I surrounded myself with trickled into my life, helping me thrive unapologetically and confidently as exactly me. I didn’t realize I had so much shame, cultural expectations, societal expectations, and stigma to shed. No wonder I couldn’t fly and thrive…I was weighed down underneath all those layers.

 

What does this mean for you? It means that you must go out and do your own thing. Do the things that make you happy, even if it’s not kink-related. But, you’re at my blog, so I can only guess that kink is in there somewhere for you! Live YOUR life. Okay, if you need a little nudge: I, Veronica Yanhs, give you full permission to go out and explore what makes you happy, kinky or not. Life is to short to hide behind what-if’s and maybe’s.

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You want to know the best part about all of this? The transformation I felt from the permission I gave myself to explore kink and BDSM has positively affected other areas of my life, too: my career, my ability to communicate, and my romantic and platonic relationships to name a few.

 

The joy I feel from the freedom and acceptance to show up exactly as I am thanks to BDSM has helped shape me to be the person I am today.

 

People ask me all the time why I’m so passionate about helping people explore kink and BDSM. This is my why.