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There’s so much out there – it can be overwhelming

Your desire to incorporate kink and BDSM into our sex lives doesn’t have to come from being “exposed” to it, like through books, movies, T.V. shows, or word of mouth. Generally, there are two ways that can lead people to the realization that kink is something they want to try: external awareness or internal desire.

 

External awareness is when you’re made aware of kink and BDSM through external means: books, T.V. shows, movies, word of mouth, etc. The point is, something else brought a specific element of kink to you that you want , like bondage or Dominance/submission, for example.

 

Internal desire is the desire to try kink and BDSM because you simply want to “be less vanilla” or want spice up your sex life, and the the concept of kink pops into your mind because you don’t consider yourself kinky. But, that’s all you know.

 

This is why the kink world is so vast

Regardless of what you may or may not know, there is so much in the kink world for you to try that it’s impossible to list them all out now. That’s because the notion of exploring kink most objectively is about exploring aspects of your relationships, sexuality, and sensuality in a way that goes against the grain of what society expects from YOU.

 

Generally speaking, people who have discovered kink through external awareness have it a tad bit easier. They have an anchor/starting point. They saw something that made them go, “Ohhh yeah, I’d like to try that!” That means they’re starting at square two versus people who have discovered the need for kink internally don’t have that, square one.

 

I’m not saying one is more common or better than the other, because there is no better. Something, be it internal or external, got you curious and now you’d like to take action on it. What’s important is how you go about acting on your desires hopefully through reputable, safe, and educational resources.

 


Take our “Kinky Things to Try” quiz if you’re not sure what you should try first.

 


Here are some tips to get you started

At Desires Laid Bare, we love helping people dip their toes into kink and BDSM in a very easy-to-understand AND do method in ways that align with who they are. Meaning, it’s super important to us that you explore in ways that make you happy. While we pride ourselves on giving you a guided step-by-step instructions, we approach kink in a non-cookie cutter fashion first. Think of us as a funnel that starts out wide giving you categories to pique your interest. And then as you dive deeper into the “it’s time to take action mode!” down the tapered funnel, we start getting specific with step by step instructions.

 

That means we love to give you the freedom to explore and try without being too rigid, so you can genuinely find something that excites you.

 

We’ve taken all the kinky things geared towards beginners and grouped them into the following categories:

  • Bondage: restraints, blindfolds, gags, scarves, ropes, and more oh my!
  • Role play: assuming different roles than your current one
  • Rough play: rough sex, Dominance/submission, biting, light spanking
  • Toys: dildos, vibrators, pervertables, non-sexual toys, and food items are some examples.

 

Don’t forget that you can combine categories together! It’s time to get your creative juices flowing! If you’re not sure where to start first, take the quiz. It’ll help you decide where to start first based on your answers.

After you’ve gotten an idea of what you would like to try, head on over to BDSM for Beginners to get started in a safe, fun, and educated manner!