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For years, I read that the most successful people — that I looked up to anyways — had morning routines. It’s no secret that a morning routine (whatever morning means to you), maximizes productivity, energy, and creativity.

I was excited to create and execute my morning routine. The motivation and inspiration was strong. You know that feeling when you start something new? Yeah, I bet you do!

I tried journaling, stretching, drinking, working out, sketching/drawing, drinking 24oz of water, reading…so basically #allthethings. Unfortunately, nothing really stuck. I couldn’t stick to it, because the inspiration and motivation fizzled out. If anything, my productivity decreased. Not that I don’t enjoy these activities; I do immensely, and incorporate some of them now in the morning, but it didn’t feel natural at the time, and my headspace wasn’t there. Somehow, everything felt so forced.


When I started incorporating kink into my morning routine because of my 24/7 Dominant/submissive relationship everything just clicked.

Given how much kink fuels my life, I wish I knew sooner that it was the anchoring secret sauce to finding the morning routine for me. It was like, “DUH, SELF!”

If you’re thinking that by me saying “adding kink” to my morning routine involves all the sexy toys, bondage, sex, handcuffs, whips, floggers, and the usual BDSM suspects, it doesn’t at all. (Well, okay…soooooometimes…when the mood strikes yada yada.)

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Service is a big part of our dynamic and the protocols we both abide by in our relationship. What does service mean? If you take the context out of kink, what comes up for you when I ask you what it means to be “in a position of service” or “to be of service”? It’s about being in the position to help make things easier for X, Y, or Z.


We have a routine that’s called morning service. It lasts for about an hour, and it goes like this:

  • I wake up 15 minutes before he needs to wake up
  • I make his coffee and his breakfast shake
  • Depending on the temperature, the heater may get turned on and I make sure everything he needs for work goes in his backpack, like his laptop
  • I wake him up and present him his coffee while kneeling on my knees — served with the tumbler on the palm of my hand and the drink opening facing towards him
  • We have some quiet moments together as he wakes up. We chat about what our plans are for the day/evening, and if there’s anything important we need to discuss
  • I feed our dogs, lay out his clothes and shoes for the day, and make sure the shower is prepared should he decide to take one — enough soap and shampoo and his towel folded in a specific way on the ledge of the sink
  • While he’s showering, I put his keys, wallet, phone, 2 quarters, his insulin pump, and continuous glucose monitor by his backpack
  • And off he goes to work!

Being of service for us is not only about doing things with intention, it’s a mindset practice.

I’m very much a routine and detailed person, so being able to serve my partner to his exact likings added details and intentions in there not only connects us on a deep level, but it does wonder for my focus, mindset, creativity, and productivity. Our mornings are calm, and when he kisses my forehead and leaves for the day, I feel collected and centered.

I won’t go into the nuances of how my service and submission play together in kink and my relationship here. But, I do talk and teach service as part of kink and Dominance/submission in my kink/BDSM for beginners membership site, Desires Laid Bare, if you’re interested in becoming a member and incorporating this for yourself.

I’m ready to start my day and kick ass in my business. Ever since I started morning routine, I’ve seen my procrastination go down. Things just flow, and I’m seeing projects through easier. My creativity is higher than it has been in a long time. I just seem to execute better. Maybe it’s because I have a kinky business and doing kinky things fuel it, but I don’t think so.

It’s because I’m being 100% me. It’s natural; it feels right; and it feels so. damn. good. I feel free.

My takeaway for you is this: find activities to do in your morning routine that feel good to you. Do things that create sparks of inspiration and motivation to get your day going.

Even if it’s not something articles on Entrepreneur, Huffington Post, or Fast Company touch upon, or extremely different altogether, like morning service for me, you gotta do you. At the end of the day, this is YOUR life.

Do you #belaidbare by giving yourself permission to do what inspires and excites you in the morning? Let me hear a “HELL YEAH!”

If you’d like more information on how to explore kink and BDSM, click here to get access to a comprehensive assortment of guides, videos, interviews, and resources for free.