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CEO. Feminist. Submissive. Seems pretty contradictory, right? At first, that’s what I thought, too. Leave it to me to start Googlin’ and researching what it meant to be a submissive in the BDSM lifestyle while taking a Feminist Studies 101 class. I was raised to be a strong, ambitious, and independent person who had no glass ceiling. I was raised by hardcore feminists.

“Glass ceilings were made for greenhouses, Veronica.” You get the idea.

Yet the thought of not having to make decisions and to let someone else call the shots in and out of the bedroom got me all hot and bothered. The thought of being bound, blindfolded, helpless, and out of control while doing the dirty was a recurring fantasy as a teen. Hell, it still is now. The thought of kneeling, being owned and collared, and serving my Dominant made my heart feel full.

On top of all of that, I got bitten by the entrepreneurial bug hard while I was at Stanford. I never knew that being an entrepreneur was possible for me. I was supposed to be an engineer, a doctor, or perhaps a lawyer. Yet, no career ever felt “right” for me…until this. Whatever I dream, I can follow and make a reality? Calling the shots? The freedom to make money, inspire and change people’s lives, and work on ideas that inspire me? Count me in.

 

The ambivalence was strong.

In the beginning, I was Googling phrases like, “feminist submissive” to see if I could find anything that told me it was okay to be a strong woman who also desired to let go and submit. I felt so guilty and so ashamed, mainly because the dictionary definition sucked. Was I undoing everything my family and all the women before me fought so hard for the rights I have now? It was so hard to accept that I desired all of this. I didn’t want to let go any part of my life in favor for another.

 

I struggled, until the day I realized that all three areas of my life I was so passionate were about the ability to choose.

As a CEO/entrepreneur, I get to choose my career. I get to choose the people I want to grow with. I get to choose what days to take off. I get to choose what ideas I want to see through.

As a submissive, I get to choose whom I serve. I get to choose whom I kneel for. I get to choose who is worthy of trust, devotion, and surrender. I get to choose who is worthy of my respect.

What I’ve come to find out is that submission, at least for me, isn’t about giving up control or being weak or anti-feminist. It’s about stepping in your power; it’s about choosing who is worthy of your submission; it’s about respect. This is how I teach Dominance/submission in my membership site. Stay tuned for a blog post on this.

As a feminist, I ultimately get to choose how I live my life. Which is handy, because this idea of choice also influenced my definition of feminism: the right to choose her own path.

I choose to be an entrepreneur who has goals of changing the world for the better with no income cap, and a proud and unapologetic submissive to my partner, my Dominant (who I can gush about all day because it’s so awesome to find a partner in the lifestyle who likes his submissives ambitious, strong, stubborn, and sarcastic)

So, dear reader, what do you choose today in your career? Life? Happiness?