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A question I get asked quite a bit is, “How did you know you were kinky?”

I actually love answering this question, because I find it to be the conversation that not only establishes trust between people (because let’s be real, most of these stories begin when you’re under 10), it’s an exercise of self-awareness, enlightenment, and self-acceptance.

Because, discovering that you’re into kinky things isn’t always met with a celebratory “HOORAY!”, but a questionable, “Oh…okay…huh.”

I would say the most common examples of discovering one’s kinkiness is through various media mediums, like books, movies, T.V. shows, etc.

I believe that your sexual identity begins in childhood, before you really have the understanding of what’s going on. Your kink doesn’t just magically turn on through (prolonged) exposure to media, like watching Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s like saying if you watch Fifty Shades enough, you’ll become kinky. No.

At Desires Laid Bare, kink and BDSM is more than just about our immediate pleasures. It’s also a vessel we use towards heightened self-awareness and enlightenment. So, dear kinkster, my wish for you is that from watching the episode below that you’ll find some nuggets that give you an “Aha!” into your life in terms of awareness, enlightenment, and self-acceptance.

Because, discovering that you’re into kinky things isn’t always met with a celebratory “HOORAY!”, but a questionable, “Oh…okay…huh.”